Syrian and Lebanonese officials expressed outrage at the killing of 26 innocent farm workers. Israel responded by arguing that both the workers and their would be pickles were part of a sinister plot which left the Israelis no choice but to liquidate them.
Israel said that the Syrian cucumbers and workers were destined for a non Kosher pickling plant somewhere in southern Lebanon where the workers would then package the cucumbers as Kosher pickles. Sources inside Israeli intelligence stated that these faux Kosher pickles were then to be delivered deep inside Israel to settler communities. Once consumed Hizbollah agents would then inform the settlers that they had eaten pickles made according to Sharia Law. Once the IDF uncovered the plot Olmert was immediately informed and he said that “Israel had a right to defend itself by taking any action deemed necessary up to and including nuclear holocaust to keep Israel safe from bogus Kosher food products.
“Intrepid Israeli fighter jet pilots tracked down sinister terrorist cucumbers and other vicious vegetables being loaded onto a refrigerated truck by Syrian seasonal laboerers. Unfortunatedly the wicked terrorist cucumbers were hiding themselves amidst civilian workers, and it was necessary to kill 26 of the latter to end the threat of pickling. Israeli ambassador to the United Nations Dan Gillerman castigated the cucumbers as “animals.” Alan Dershowitz pointed out that vegetables cannot be considered civilians.”