Increasing evidence is mounting that Israel is purposefully hiding its military personal among civilians. In the latest piece of evidence it is reported that Israel has called up 15,000 reserve soldiers. Apparently 95 percent of these reserves live in densely populated urban areas and have even been known to eat food and sleep amongst the civilian population. What is more there is further evidence that these reservists use the public transit system and roads in order to deploy on the front-lines of the war. Other sources indicate that it is regular practice that support lines run through densely populated urban areas in an effort to force Hezbollah to kill civilians when they target Israeli supply lines.

One senior Hizbollah figure, who requested the her name be withheld, when asked about the Israeli use of human shields replied “clearly we are frustrated that the Israeli’s are such cowards they hide up the skirts of women and children; we would prefer that they lined up in rows in a single olive grove so we could kill lots at a time with no civilian casualties.”

She was then questioned if Hezbollah would have to specifically target the infrastructure that supports the Israeli war machine? She responded by saying that “such a strategy would entail bombing all of Israel” and that although “such a strategy had been discussed amongst top Hizbollah Generals” they concluded however that there “simply was no way to avoid a mass civilian slaughter so the strategy was immediately dropped as being fundamentally immoral.” She further added that Hizbollah was “quite sad” that civilians had been killed but that this was war and that Lebanon has a right to defend itself. At the same time, she pointed out that after an internal review it needed to be stressed that Hizbollah was running a one to one kill ratio between soldiers and civilians and that the civilian deaths would not have occurred if they had left northern Israel as they had been repeatedly warned to do by Hizbollah.

Another unnamed Hizbollah official said that they would not stop rocketing Israel border towns until an as yet to be determined security zone inside of Israel had been cleared of all IDF militants . He further added that any remaining Israeli civilians inside the security zone would have to be regarded as combatants if they did not leave for refuge in southern Israel.

In such times all we have left is satire.

Goodwin Ginger